This post I have struggled to write because like all women I really hate talking about weight. It is like a huge elephant in the room. The age-old saying that you should never ask a woman her age or her weight. Time to remove that elephant in the room and have an open and honest conversation about weight.
First I will start off by saying that when anyone has ever tried to guess my weight they have been completely wrong, and if I decided to reveal my actual weight they were shocked. The common saying was “you don’t look that big.” Not sure if that was ever supposed to be considered a compliment but I always uncomfortably said; thank you. Weight like mostly everything else in life is complex and never quite what it seems. Weight is more than pounds and everyone carries it differently. I can be heavier in weight but more in shape than someone half of my weight. Not saying I am. But weight gain or weight loss can be attributed to so many different things that it shouldn’t just be defined by a single number.
When I started my weight loss journey early last year I was 288 pounds. As I am writing this I still cringe at that number. That was the heaviest I have ever been and the most unhealthy. It has been a daily challenge and I really try to look within and look at the decisions I made to get me there. Emotional eating was and is a big one! Had a bad day at work let me order pizza or eat pint of ice cream. I let people and things self sabotage MY BODY. Meanwhile they go on to live life while I am stuck with the emotional pounds I tacked on because I didn’t know how else to deal with my emotions.Emotional eating gives instant gratification but leaves you with long-term remorse.
I am now down to 248 pounds and I have lost several inches in my waist. Still I am unsatisfied. One because I know I could have lost more in this span of time if I didn’t let others impact my emotions as much as I do. Two because I still have given weight power. The number is just in my head. I don’t weigh myself often but the number still lingers. Weight loss is a journey and honestly there are times where I get frustrated because I haven’t lost a pound or I have gained some back. I am a work in progress. But sooner or later my weight will become just a number that I will learn to embrace as I continue to be the best the me I can.