I am Fat

I am Fat and have always been Fat. Unless you count when I was a kid but I don’t. My body doesn’t know anything else. There are days where I try to imagine how I would look skinny. I envision my head on different celebrities’ bodies telling myself maybe I want to look like that when I lose my weight. But that isn’t too realistic. I can never be any other person, I am just me right?

Then I have “skinny friends” who call themselves FAT all the while I am double their size.  I always laugh and say you aren’t FAT not even close. They give me the same face I give everyone when they try to argue or deny my fatness. Sometimes self -image and reflection can be our biggest downfall.

Have I said the word FAT enough in this blog post yet? Here is the thing I am realizing more and more, FAT is a mental thing just as much as it is physical. We as women compare ourselves to others seeking some type of “normal skinny physique.” But there is no such thing ! We are all different, different shapes and sizes.Who even dictates or defines what skinny actually is? Is it a set weight or pant size? FAT or Skinny what do these words even mean? Both words are just a state of mind, both are words defined by individuals. If you asked a variety of people to describe a FAT  and Skinny person their answers will vary.

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Being “mentally FAT” is so much harder and draining than the physical aspect. It takes a lot to mentally  get out of your own way to push through physically. Do I think I am FAT… Yes. Will the doctor say I need to lose weight…Yes. But so does 90% of the population!

Every pound I have lost I still feel FAT. I still feel unworthy of this skinny body I imagine myself having. So like I said FAT is mental more than physical.My challenge has become 100% mental. Here is to beating my mental FAT and burning some real FAT at the same time.

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3 thoughts on “I am Fat

  1. The battle is truly a mindset…I too struggle with that FAT DEMON. ….I believe in you and encourage you to continue the good fight….as I too am on the battlefield fighting with you…..
    We will win this WAR. …..
    Be encouraged. ….love ya

    Like

  2. Great post Shannon. It is a struggle for me as well. Self-image is everything. It is hard for me because I have not always been like this. I so want to be 190 pounds again, but I know it’s not necessarily possible. Keep pushing just like you have been. You are amazing and an inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

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