For as long I can remember I have had an unhealthy relationship with food. This photo was taken almost 6 years ago, way before my journey to healthy living began. Food always was an emotion for me, whether I was happy or sad, food was always near by and one-bite away. Then I would eat until everything was gone. My body would be so uncomfortable but I wouldn’t stop because I was raised to not waste food. Because I had that upbringing I couldn’t get my mind around what it meant to be full versus what it meant to be finished. In my mind I was full when my plate was finished.
Doing the game changer challenge at my gym opened my mind up to so many different factors as to why I was stuck in my complacency. Why I would peak in my weight loss journey just to fall into the trap of my old bad habits? My habit to over indulge on food is huge for me. When I cleansed my body and started to fuel my body it clicked. And then when the challenge ended and I worked on maintaining all of my hard work I realized I still had to work on my relationship with food.
Like a guy you know is bad for you and is nothing but dead weight but you refuse to let him go… that is me and some of my food choices. They do nothing but bloat me and make me feel like shit but yet I am having a hard time giving it up. I found in my journey I have a huge sensitivity to gluten AND dairy isn’t my friend. But I’m like NO I want to keep them around. But I’ve come to realize that it isn’t the food it is the emotion attached to them. It is the fear of excelling past where I already am. It also is the fear of something different for me. But my body is craving something different and it thrives when I fuel it with the right thing. So while it is a daily battle of making the right food choices for me, I am more aware than ever before, and I am making strides to do better and remain consistent. It all comes down as my trainer says to how I want to feel. And while there are days I feel like crap I don’t have to allow my body to feel like crap just because my emotions are telling me to do it. My biggest challenge is me and I am working hard everyday conquer the roadblocks of me.